Name's Singh,... Vai%&@# Singh!

Alright, my name is pretty common in India. We have lots of 'Vaibhav's back home and we also have a large number of 'Vaibhav Singh's. My parents didn't really give me a 'unique' name, which is generally the norm back home. But the weird thing is, people almost never get it right.

So, I have heard a lot of variations of 'Vaibhav' back home. Even my grandmother didn't get it right! In north, people usually use 'Vai' as in 'vanity'. In fact, I also think that's the right way to say it. I mean, that's how my parents say it, and they gave me this name! I might be exaggerating here, but I only want to emphasize how different the pronunciation gets as I move from one place to another. In Maharashtra, people emphasize on the 'i' after 'Va' and the result somehow rhymes with 'why'! Bengalis almost always use 'b' in place of 'v' and even end with a distinctive 'o' ('Ba-i-bo', 'bo' as in 'cross-bow'). In college, I saw lots of contortions, some ranging from 'Vei-bo' to even an amazing 'vabe', rhyiming with 'wave'! One of my friends prefers to call me 'Babe!' and what's weird is the fact that he is, after all, a he! Gay connotations aside, I am reserved to the fact that there's a big chance that most people will almost never get my name right, the first time they try.

But it got worse. Usually people only mess up that 'Vai' part of it, or so I thought. I came to America and suddenly, it was the '-bhav' which created problems for people. Apparently, there is no English word which rhymes with '-bhav' and soon, I got some even more weirder versions of my name. Whenever I introduce myself, people would always ask me to either repeat my name, or how it is spelled. They would try to say it and then they would go apologetic about it. Usually people would prefer referring me by my last name - Singh (though they miss out the half-'h' sound in the end, and some say they are tempted to use an 'ing' at the end to make it 'Vai-whatever' singing!)

But some of these versions are interesting. One lady from Ukraine calls me 'Mr. Welles'. Another acquaintance calls me 'Bebo'. One salsa dancer goes further to refer me as 'Octave', which has no resemblance to 'Vaibhav' whatsoever. But there have been some spot on contenders too. I was surprised when one of the salsa people, Cassandra, got it right the first time! But then, I found out that she had South Asian connections and, maybe it's in her genes, to get it right. Then my manager at work also got it right - he's currently the best manager I have ever worked for. I really appreciate the efforts people put into the matter, but honestly, as long as I know they are addressing me, it doesn't matter.

Denise always tries hard to get it right. Mary did try for sometime, but she uses 'Singh' and it's fine, since she gets the 'h' part right. Ronen (or, is that 'Ronin'?) tried and recently, he's come pretty close. Ashley tried too, but she settled for a better, more preferable version 'Vai'. At one point, I even thought of giving out my pet name, but my pet name is something I haven't shared with people for over ten years. Why didn't I do that? Yesterday, I revealed it to my salsa group. And soon, they started using it on me, and let's just say, it didn't really have the effect I had expected. Already, I get teased about my childlike nature. Plus, I had forgotten how long it really took for me to finally get rid of my pet name (I am not giving it out here!). And now, it's out in the open again. Hopefully, they won't remember it by the time we meet again next Saturday. So, what do I do with my name? For sometime now, I am have been thinking of using 'Vaivij'. The upside of using this name is that I already use Vaivij in my email ids (vaivij@yahoo.com and vaivij@gmail.com). I reached 'Vaivij' by, taking first three letters of my name and adding the first three letters of my brother. My brother was lucky that way. I still haven't heard a bad or wrong pronunciation of 'Vijit'.

So, for the time being, I have another concern on my head. I have to curtail the spread of my pet name. I blurted it our yesterday (what was I thinking?) and people seemed very enthusiastic about it. I guess it's my desperation to get some sort of conformity in what people call me. I have even made a resolution. I will ask the first girl out, who gets my name the first time. The criteria should be: a) she shouldn't have any Asian connections either way and, b) she gets it right the first time. There's no need to raise any eyebrows here, as I don't really think anybody is going to get it right anyways.

At the last salsa class, a new girl showed up. When Mary did the usual introductions, I really didn't pay attention to her name. When we were partnered together, I completely forgot what to call her. She called me 'Singh', but I had no idea what her name was. To make it worse, she kept giving me hints ('The Little Mermaid! Remember the Little Mermaid!') and still I didn't get it. God! I still don't remember her name! But now I saw the other side of the picture. It gets really embarrassing if you don't get someone's name right. In this case, I simply forgot or didn't pay attention when she said it, but the end result was the same. You end up making people dejected.

As of now, I am going to make sure that my kids get more 'international' sounding names. What I worry about is, what if I am destined to become somebody famous? I would want people to say it right during the award functions! After all, nobody gets 'James Bond' wrong, no matter what nationality.